Take off the Hat

When I meet someone for the first time that's wearing a city-specific sports hat, I always ask the same question:

"So you're from ________?" (Fill in city name represented)

Maybe it's a poor assumption on my part, but more often than not they aren't from the city they choose to wear on their head. My favorite are the Boston Red Sox fans. I recently met a kid from Nebraska. NEBRASKA. He, of course, was wearing a Red Sox hat.

If you really want to see someone squirm, start off encounters of this sort with the same question. The other person feels their alligances being put into question, and they don't know how to explain. Which is good, because I absolutely do not want to hear an explanation. I don't care why you're wearing that Yankee hat. I don't care if your best friend's cousin lives in New York City and you spent a summer there in '92 and went to multiple Yankee games. I DO NOT CARE. You don't have to justify your choice of head gear to me.

I understand that there are those that simply like the look of a team's logo or colors, and I understand that it's just a hat, but lets get real. If you feel like you have to DEFEND your choice of hats then you have bigger problems to deal with. Wear what you want. But don't waste my time explaining how you developed an unlikely alliance to the best teams in any given sport. There aren't Texas Ranger fans in Columbus, OH. (Or are there?) But I'm fairly certain the amount of Yankee and Redsox hats out number the Blue Jacket fans in that city.

Bottom Line: Wear what you want. But be prepared to be asked if you actually hail from the city you chose to put on your head. And if you are asked, please don't defend your choice. No one cares. If you can accept the inevitable question and realize no defense is needed, then do what you want...if not - TAKE OFF THE HAT.

Waldo. what the hell?

Hey Waldo - who the hell are you? I hate to sound like an old grouch but why the hell am I looking for you, I don't even know you.. You've never called on a weeknight to be like "Hey, what's up man? you up for shooting the breeze tonight?" You never invited me over to "vent".. what the hell bra - you know what, it's time to take a stand, i'm not falling for it anymore - come to think of it, I don't even want to hang out with you.. what's with the french-travelers get up son? Hey - heres an idea.. try a different shirt or something.. you know maybe mix it up a bit.. asshole..

PS. I will never look for you ever again, don't bother trying to get me back..

sidenote: maybe try staying in one place for more than one page.. you know maybe settle down with a wife and a family, unless your not into that (not that theres anything wrong with that..).

Love Always,
Tim Keating